Embracing Dying Matters Week
- Thomas Bell
- May 3
- 3 min read
Grief is a deeply personal experience, yet many people struggle silently with unresolved feelings after losing a loved one. During Dying Matters Week, we are reminded of the importance of facing bereavement openly and seeking support when needed. Unresolved grief can affect our mental and physical health, relationships, and overall quality of life.
Understanding Unresolved Grief
Grief does not follow a set timeline. While some people find ways to adjust and heal over time, others carry pain that remains unaddressed. Unresolved grief happens when emotions related to loss are suppressed, ignored, or not fully processed. This can lead to ongoing sadness, anger, guilt, or numbness that interferes with daily living.
Research shows that unresolved grief increases the risk of depression, anxiety, and physical health problems such as weakened immune response and even heart issues. For example, some studies found that people with prolonged grief disorder had higher rates of cardiovascular disease compared to those who had processed their grief.* This highlights how important it is to address bereavement rather than avoid it.
Why People Avoid Their Bereavement
Avoiding grief is common and understandable. The pain of loss can feel overwhelming, and many fear that facing it will only make things worse. Here are some reasons why people might avoid confronting their bereavement:
Fear of emotional pain: Grief can bring intense feelings that seem unbearable.
Social stigma: Some cultures or communities discourage open discussion about death, loss or mental health in general.
Lack of support: Without a safe space or trusted person to talk to, people may isolate themselves.
Belief in “moving on” quickly: Pressure to return to normal life can make grieving feel like a weakness.
Uncertainty about how to grieve: People may not know what to expect or how to express their feelings.
Avoidance might provide short-term relief, but it often prolongs suffering. It can also create barriers to forming new relationships or fully engaging in life.
How Counselling Supports Healing in Bereavement
Counselling offers a structured and compassionate environment to explore grief safely. A trained counsellor can help you:
Express emotions: Talk openly about feelings like sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion.
Understand grief reactions: Learn that grief is unique and non-linear, reducing self-judgment.
Develop coping skills: Find healthy ways to manage pain and stress.
Rebuild connections: Improve communication with family and friends.
Create meaning: Reflect on the relationship with the deceased and find ways to honour their memory.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Embracing Dying Matters Week by Taking Action
Dying Matters Week this year is from the 4th May and encourages open conversations about death, dying, and bereavement. It reminds us that grief is a natural part of life and that support is available. Many organisations run events during this week focused around bereavement and offer community-based ways to engage with our loss. Often, your local Hospice will be involved in some way - it's worth checking what is happening near you.
To give you an idea of what these events can involve, here are some examples of things I have taken part in over the years in my bereavement work. (though many other types of events will also be happening, I'm sure)
Information events and workshops - educational information about death and dying
Funeral Director open days - reducing fear and anxiety about the practicalities
Workplace initiatives - encouraging workplaces to be informed and compassionate about bereavement
Community storytelling events - sharing experiences with others about our losses
Death Cafes - don't let the name put you off! These are informal spaces to have a hot drink and talk
Bereavement support groups - group therapy for those struggling with their loss
If you or someone you know is struggling with unresolved grief, counselling can provide a path toward healing.
Take the first step today. Reach out to and start your bereavement journey. You do not have to face this alone. Healing is possible, and brighter days can lie ahead.
References and further reading
Comments